The Return Of The Legless Lizard!

A wall of sound blasts the loving crowd; the place is rocking. The singer looks like a lumpy bean bag propped up by pipe cleaners as he walks along the edge of the stage, his black t-shirt boldly promoting hiredgoons.com.au, his long skinny legs carefully stepping over the empty Smirnoff bottles. The rhythm section, the best Melbourne crowds have heard since ‘The Wreckery’ split in ’88, draw towards the end of a tight set and the crowd erupts. The singer not thinking in excitement takes a run up and dives off the stage into the unsuspecting crowd. ***BING*** “Ladies and gentlemen please return your seats to the upright position, we are now beginning our descent into Delhi”. I was dreaming. I must have dozed off while watching ‘The Diving Bell and The Butterfly’ for the fourth time since we left Melbourne this morning. It’s a movie that reduces me to tears every time, embarrassingly I try to disguise my welling eyes by yawning and pretending I’m tired, on the contrary it’s a movie that inspires the hell out of me, filling me with a nervous energy that will hold me in good stead tomorrow morning as I embark on my second series of stem cell treatment with Dr Geeta Shroff. As I step of the plane into the refurbished airport, my nose reacquaints itself with the smell, my skin to the steamy heat and my ears to the noise of hustle and bustle, and strangely I feel like I’ve returned home, I guess now with the addition of the stem cells some parts of my body have. I’m here for the next 5 weeks and will once again be updating you readers with entertaining stories from the Miracle Factory.